On Relationships

Whoa! Where did the semester go? It feels like school just started a few days ago! Alas, I am almost through with my first semester of college. It has been a very interesting experience. I have learned many things over the past four months. I have learned about various ancient civilizations, and the ways in which they kept order. I have learned how society and societal norms can define people. I have learned how to give and listen to a speech. I have learned how to write words using the International Phonetic Alphabet. My classes have been fun and exciting, but I have also learned many things outside of class.

A very good friend told me that the hardest thing in life is handling relationships with other people. School and work are easy by comparison, you only have to preform an assigned task. Religion should be easy- be nothing but given to by God, it's all laid out in the Bible! (Unfortunately some people make this the hardest aspect of their lives.) Health can be complicated, but I doubt it consumes as much energy or causes as much anxiety as relationships do. Of course relationships can be so amazing that they change our lives forever, but they can also hurt us so deeply that we are never the same and are forever wounded.

Why do I bring this up? I have been struggling with relationships quite alot this semester. Specifically the romantic type. I feel that it is important to know what a healthy relationship looks like, and each person's role in that relationship.

The man should be the head of the relationship, but not an opressive head. He should love the woman as Christ loves the church- enough to die for her. He should be protective and supportive. He should encourage her when she feels overwhelmed or depressed. He should show his affection by not putting her down with words, but by building her up with everything he says. He should be motivated to provide for the woman. He should excell in school or work and show that he is able to hold responsibility. He should listen to and consider the woman's opinion before he makes a decision. He should not try to manipulate the woman, but he should be completely honest with her. He should take his responsibility as head of the household seriously.

The woman should be submissive to the man, but not in a slavish or oppressed way. She should look to the man to provide for her needs and to protect her. She should care for the man and make life easier for him by taking care of the tasks of daily living. She should encourage him in everything he does, and support him in his decisions. She should build him up with everything she says, and show affection through her words and actions. She should not try to tear him down trough sacastic and malicious words and actions. She should not attempt to manipulate him, but be honest in everything she does. She should provide emotional support. She should listen to his cares and worries, and respond with love and encouragement.

Both the man and the woman should have a healthy understanding of their relationship with God- they should not be unequally yoked. Christ should be the center of the relationship, so that they can grow in faith togeather and not be trying to pull each other away from the church.

At the beginning of the semester I had the choice between two guys. I said yes to the wrong one. The guy I've been dating meets almost none of the above criteria. I broke up with him this weekend because he ridicules everything I do, he tries to convince me to skip class, he pulls me away from my friends, he is failing out of school, and he blames me for everything that goes wrong in his life, even if it has nothing to do with me. I'm still friends with the other guy, we usually eat breakfast togeather. (My boyfriend was too lazy to wake up that early, but he was always invited) The other guy treats me the way my own boyfriend should have been treating me. He is genuinely concerned about how I'm doing. He always says positive things that build me up. He is highly motivated an is a very high achiever. He encourages me in my classes and activities. I doubt that he will ask me out again because I blew it the first time. But looking back I can see I made the wrong choice. However, this experience has taught me what to look for in a guy. Hopefully I will not make the same mistake twice. God has a plan, and he has someone out there for me. All I can do is trust in God to provide for me and to guide me through these tough relationships.